Music

My first dream ever was to be a musician. This is a desire that I often fantasize about from time to time. If I can think back to my childhood I wanted to be like Michael Jackson or Lil' Bow Wow. A pop artist and a rapper. As I got older, rapping was something I leaned on more, so I began writing rhymes (that were so elementary at the time). This is all proof that since I was a kid, I've been telling stories. 

Fast forward to 2025, I'm still a storyteller; music has just not been my main outlet. I've recently started living some of my musical fantasy by writing the book and lyrics of a musical for the stage. It's currently in development. I'm writing the lyrics with a friend named Ndanu Mutisya, (who is a wonderful multi-faceted artist who collaborated with me on my full-length play, Lotus, and the Unlikely Crew) as well as Glenn Alexander, who shares a similar journey as me. We both are from Texas, studied the arts at Prairie View A &M University, pledged a D9 fraternity, studied classically, and moved to New York City. In a way I feel like we are bonded artists on a similar journey utilizing different outlets. 

The musical we're developing is one of the hardest pieces I've ever written. I've been working on it for a few years now. It centers legendary blues artist, Robert Johnson. That's all I will say about it at the moment. Stay tuned for more though as I plan on announcing it this year. 

All of this being said, in this lifetime I still want to make the music I grew up wanting to make. Both solo, and in a group/band. I hate labels so I'm not 100% sure how I want my music to sound but I want it to make people feel good about themselves, inspire confidence, boundlessness, pull at heart strings, tell stories, and last but not least, make people DANCE. 

I have a brother named Lani Jae who is also a multi-faceted artist. One of those facets is music. Every time I listen to his music I get inspired and excited. We both are very different from each other, while very much the same; and for the most part, we love the same music. I have thought over and over again that if I was in a group, I'd want it to be a duo, with him. 

Why? We are both eccentric. 

ec-cen-tric

(of a person or their behavior) unconventional and slightly strange.

When it comes to me and Lani Jae, we like the same things and very different things. 

His music began eccentric, but his personality (to me) is mainstream. 

My personality is eccentric, but I believe the music I would make would be mainstream. 

These are two eccentric scientific mixtures that have always worked and I have inspirations from groups that I would use as our foundation. 

1. Outkast. 

Andre and Big Boi are extremely different in everything; but there has to be some common ground that they both revel in for them to make music as wonderful and complex as they do. 

2. Daft Punk

I have always loved their disguise. I have never known the reason they decided to be robots but what I do love is that it removes ego from the picture. In research I've learned that separately their productions sound different, but when they come together (despite having different tastes) they morph into giants. 

I don't know what my musical journey holds, but I know that I'm tagging in at some point! 

- CDSJ

                                                                CJ Stewart, Lani Jae

                                                              Prairie View A&M, 2013

Chasing Starlight: a poem in blank verse

Celestial being where are you hidden.

I have looked amongst the stars on a chase

Without the resource of a telescope.

I can see as far as my eyes allow  

But I’ve had visions of you star dancing.

I’m conscious that you are not of this world.

You are bound by no rules and live freely. 

Living with galaxies deep inside you

Made of dreams so bright gazing eyes will burn

Well, scorch my eyes then if I’m allowed to yearn 

For you are everything a world can need 

Harvesting the sun moon planets and stars.

If I could view one thing in my lifetime

I would die with the heart of pandora

Content with the gift of seeing you shine. 

CDSJ

The Abroad Letter: a poem in blank verse

The sun shines softly in my apartment 

As I stand here idly in my kitchen 

Anticipating your starry letter

Wondering if my flower scented words

Have reached you and what your thoughts are of them. 

My heart feels a flutter of excitement

Like you are writing from a place abroad;

Though, in truth, we stand on similar ground 

Linked by art, culture, internet, and words.

I hate the internet but it made this

Connection that I have baited and hooked

With hopes of give-and-take through our shared gifts.

So I sit here with my pen feeling odd

Writing letters from a place that feels abroad. 

- CDSJ

Homer's Odyssey and Southern Hospitality

Hey family !

It's been awhile since I've posted on here. For those that are reading this, I have been reading the Odyssey since December and I have finally finished this epic tale. What struck me the most in this story was how the Greeks approached hospitality in the ancient times and how it subtly aligns with southern hospitality, in which I was raised. 

In Ancient Greek times it was normal to accept someone into your house. Often they would invite the stranger to eat, drink, and potentially stay the night. If you were noble and appeared important the Greeks would also offer gifts. 

This was normal. The only thing the host requested in return was respect and to hear the strangers’ story. (I mean, wouldn't you want to know who was in your house? But this was done after the eating and drinking). And if you treated a stranger rudely, it was frowned upon by society as well as the Gods. Zeus watched over travelers as well as the homeless. If you had it, the courtesy was to give. 

Southern hospitality isn’t as strict as Ancient Greek hospitality. Where I'm from, if a stranger came along with a familiar person, they are offered food and drink. They are also offered anything that would make them comfortable in the hosts’ home. When you enter a southern persons’ home, it’s expected that you speak upon entry, and before you leave. Manners and courtesy are important, as is in Ancient Greek. 

If a southern person has at least 1 guest during dinner, it’s expected that you cook for the entire house. And both, Greeks, and southerners LOVE watching the guests enjoy their meals. 

I really enjoyed this book. My first attempt at it was in high school but my ADHD prevented me from getting into it. I really thought it was boring compared to the Iliad (which I also haven’t read yet) but as an adult, I’ve learned to calm my mind to read big books. I love that this story, the Odyssey, is a story full of stories. 

I have discovered that as a writer, my gift, and niche, are writing epics. My mind is broad, and the stories that I end up writing are vast. So far I’ve written two, and I’m working on my third. My first epic that I wrote is called, Lotus and the Unlikely Crew. It is set in the 18th century and it is an epic tragedy about a group of captured Africans who hijack a ship and become pirates, who instead of hunting for gold, are out to intercept slave ships and free the people in the middle of the transatlantic slave trade. It is written as a book and play.

My second epic is an hour long Black epic fantasy called DEAD HERO. You can find info via this deadline article (shameless plug): https://deadline.com/2024/05/ivy-lion-productions-unveils-tv-development-slate-1235945979/

Big thanks to my brother Connor for buying me this book for my birthday! And thank you to Emily Wilson, for translating this epic, in verse! I had so much fun counting the meters in each line, and wish it were short enough to perform! 

Brilliant work. 

The Rules of Time

What is Time? 

Why do we think we have it thus not knowing our dial's expiration date. 

Today. 

Tomorrow. 

Is it just a construct to standardize the steadiness of dormant desires? 

A tool used by humanity to excuse ambitions in the measurement of others? 

What if it weren't used to measure. 

What if it didn't exist. 

Would our hearts be more full with no beat? 

Time leads love; can love not lead the other?

We believe that it is disastrous. 

Scary, even. 

To give love with no time. 

An ally once said "I love you" in seven days. 

With distance. 

They proved time wrong. 

With love. 

And has a new soul bond. 

There is no rule to love that is real. 

Only standards surrounding, you. 

Love has once been an enemy. 

But under that mask, was time. 

I shall let my radical passions run wild. 

With no apology. 

And yet i sit in minutes, hours, days, with my thoughts. 

Wondering if i'm wasting time. 

Or if time is wasting me.

CDSJ

In Another Universe: A poem in Blank Verse

I’ve felt a strange ripple in my timeline 

Like something has went completely wrong 

And this something only myself had felt 

I am ashamed to admit what happened 

Bitterness here I promise is not held 

nor is that green eyed monster that we know 

But I would not be true to myself if 

I stated I didn’t feel anything 

Its the first thing I’ve felt since I let go 

of my very first sense of love and pain 

The ripple in time I think is an error 

Yet my soul is content with the outcome 

Of you in love with an alternate me 

I have been studying to express my thoughts 

With clarity how I feel about this 

I still don’t hold the words my heart won’t say 

But somewhere in another universe 

We are together how it should have been

But where I have to live in this wrong time 

She keeps up with a name that’s not only mine

-CDSJ

Bella Notte

Through the looking glass past midnight 

Looking forward to the future when I'd see you 

Every night - we talk - we laugh - we exist 

You said you felt safe with me I guess that was just for the moment 

You made space for me but now I guess I can't want it 

Time on the phone night after night 

Insomnia is keeping me high 

Your smile like caffeine keeping me up 

During a good night 

We spent too much time

Confusion, hey you sold me 

Always called to set the mood

My Beyonce Virgo's groove 

It seems like nothing is real

Am I not all you imagined in your 21 questions? 

You could call me Nike the way I checked off your list 

What a beautiful night when we were naming our kids

Oh, this is the night, it's a beautiful night 

We was gonna do Pasta Bella Notte 

You the lady I'm no tramp

Where the K9's cause I'm dogged 

It's my fault no trips no falls 

I took the walk of shame 

there is no fun without pain 

Tugging on my heart strings I had nothing to say 

I'll drown my sorrows with your favorite drink

Please go straight to my head 

I'm delusional so sober 

I stare at our text thread 

Ice cream flavors and idol

How you gonna do me like that? 

Thought you were Tyson 

the way you left me winded when I left dismissed 

Had me convinced 

I'm not a toy

Right after my show 

Thief of joy. 

You were everything I prayed for 

Je veux ton amour, I don't wanna be friends 

Got enough 

What the fuck 

I ain't on that friend shit I got enough 

Bella Notte 

Bella Notte 

For this is the night 

There's no end 

I wanted your love 

I don't wanna be friends 

Bella Notte 

Bella Notte 

Bella Notte 

You brought me to the top of the mountain just to push me off