Thursday, December 8, 2022

Bella Notte

Through the looking glass past midnight 

Looking forward to the future when I'd see you 

Every night - we talk - we laugh - we exist 

You said you felt safe with me I guess that was just for the moment 

You made space for me but now I guess I can't want it 

Time on the phone night after night 

Insomnia is keeping me high 

Your smile like caffeine keeping me up 

During a good night 

We spent too much time

Confusion, hey you sold me 

Always called to set the mood

My Beyonce Virgo's groove 

It seems like nothing is real

Am I not all you imagined in your 21 questions? 

You could call me Nike the way I checked off your list 

What a beautiful night when we were naming our kids

Oh, this is the night, it's a beautiful night 

We was gonna do Pasta Bella Notte 

You the lady I'm no tramp

Where the K9's cause I'm dogged 

It's my fault no trips no falls 

I took the walk of shame 

there is no fun without pain 

Tugging on my heart strings I had nothing to say 

I'll drown my sorrows with your favorite drink

Please go straight to my head 

I'm delusional so sober 

I stare at our text thread 

Ice cream flavors and idol

How you gonna do me like that sis? 

Thought you were Tyson 

the way you left me winded when I left dismissed 

Had me convinced 

I'm not a toy

Right after my show 

Thief of joy. 

You were everything I prayed for 

Je veux ton amour, I don't wanna be friends 

Got enough 

What the fuck 

I ain't on that friend shit I got enough 

Bella Notte 

Bella Notte 

For this is the night 

There's no end 

I wanted your love 

I don't wanna be friends 

Bella Notte 

Bella Notte 

Bella Notte 

You brought me to the top of the mountain just to push me off 

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Signed, Your Disciple

Last night I dreamed about you. 

In the present. 

Everything seemed the way it should be. 

They way I imagined it when you moved here. 

But my fallacy of you is not at all true.

You arrived like a thief in the night. Like Jesus with all the glory. 

And I am here standing like a disciple wanting to be in your image. 

We are magnets in my delusion. But there was a time where it was true. A moment in time. 

You are here now. And you came like a thief in the night. And I am lost.

Because in the dream you cared about me. And how I treated you. 

But my eyes are open. 

And I’m just standing here. Like a disciple. All insecure. 


Friday, April 1, 2022

She Asked Me (DRAFT 1)

Sometimes I truly wish I never met you 
These dreams are getting insane 
The thought of you is really clogging my brain 

Tried to cast you off 
For all the times you blew me off 
Why you stroll in my life With 
no intentions of being my wife

Does that scare you shawty? Speaking the future?
You keep dodging my calls 
Rather me than a loser 
They don’t know you like I do 
Things you told me, like I knew 

Our Timing off but what if it finally align?
Do you care for me as much as you say
Or are you constantly lying?

You asked me if I loved you 
Why tf you think I keep coming 
Waiting, for the time of day we both promised to save 

From that day you walked in 
I knew we’d be more than friends 
Now it’s like there’s not a sense of love 
Fuck, I thought you felt something 
Got me feeling like a bum cause you left me with nothing 
But these feelings to feel alone 
Worst kinda love is when it’s wrong 

I can’t blame you though I was stupid 
School was my biggest excuse 
The first Nigga to buy you flowers 
I’m just telling the truth 
You acting kinda shady, no destiny’s child 
Ain’t no stage to air this shit out cause you been Wild N’ Out 
Now I can spoil you, make you a flower bed 
I made you a crown of blue roses so you can wear on your head 

that time we took naps together 
Wanted to give you the world 
Holding you hot in my arms 
That day I made you my pearl

Feared them days you’d turn blue 
That you’d change this is true 
Went through that shit before 
With some whore, excuse my language some girl 

But those were my insecurities jumping 
Out the page like a marvel comic 
You had plans then I came stomping 
Pickup worse than an Uber coming 

Why tf I ain’t never even kissed you.
That thought be making me sick 
Cause now I’m across the world 
I be feeling like dropping this shit 

But we both know that’s not happening 
Grinding is what made me attract you 
Can’t move up out of my lane 
My red carpet date might be lame 
If it’s not a Pearl on my arm 
My multimedia charm 
That cutie hot with a mic 
Probably seeing a whole different type

And you know I'm true to this shit

Smacking niggas for you like Will Smith.  

Truth is ain’t no other nigga like me 
A walking check like I’m Nike 
Midas is out here to get it 
Damn how how much time I been spitting 
At you 

The time moving 
Will it ever be right? 
Cause in these dreams we live a whole different life 
It’s so short I’m tryna bill you my heart 
Before the world is over 
It’s already tore me apart 
I’m done with giving attention 
Better come and take advantage 
Don’t tell me “you’ll think about it” 
Like I’m not a nigga worth grabbing
Like I won’t treat you better than all these fools 
That won’t love you like I do 
All these women coming to me 
Plus I got a lotta shit to lose 
The one I want giving me them blues 
Leading me on with thoughts of loving me too 
Can’t get star struck like I got nothing to lose. 
You Kim and I’m cube. 

She asked me “if I loved her” 
I’m like wtf you think I keep calling for.