Wednesday, July 26, 2023

The Rules of Time

What is Time? 

Why do we think we have it thus not knowing our dial's expiration date. 



Is it just a construct to standardize the steadiness of dormant desires? 

A tool used by humanity to excuse ambitions in the measurement of others? 

What if it weren't used to measure. 

What if it didn't exist. 

Would our hearts be more full with no beat? 

Time leads love; can love not lead the other?

We believe that it is disastrous. 

Scary, even. 

To give love with no time. 

An ally once said "I love you" in seven days. 

With distance. 

They proved time wrong. 

With love. 

And has a new soul bond. 

There is no rule to love that is real. 

Only standards surrounding, you. 

Love has once been an enemy. 

But under that mask, was time. 

I shall let my radical passions run wild. 

With no apology. 

And yet i sit in minutes, hours, days, with my thoughts. 

Wondering if i'm wasting time. 

Or if time is wasting me.


Thursday, December 8, 2022

Bella Notte

Through the looking glass past midnight 

Looking forward to the future when I'd see you 

Every night - we talk - we laugh - we exist 

You said you felt safe with me I guess that was just for the moment 

You made space for me but now I guess I can't want it 

Time on the phone night after night 

Insomnia is keeping me high 

Your smile like caffeine keeping me up 

During a good night 

We spent too much time

Confusion, hey you sold me 

Always called to set the mood

My Beyonce Virgo's groove 

It seems like nothing is real

Am I not all you imagined in your 21 questions? 

You could call me Nike the way I checked off your list 

What a beautiful night when we were naming our kids

Oh, this is the night, it's a beautiful night 

We was gonna do Pasta Bella Notte 

You the lady I'm no tramp

Where the K9's cause I'm dogged 

It's my fault no trips no falls 

I took the walk of shame 

there is no fun without pain 

Tugging on my heart strings I had nothing to say 

I'll drown my sorrows with your favorite drink

Please go straight to my head 

I'm delusional so sober 

I stare at our text thread 

Ice cream flavors and idol

How you gonna do me like that sis? 

Thought you were Tyson 

the way you left me winded when I left dismissed 

Had me convinced 

I'm not a toy

Right after my show 

Thief of joy. 

You were everything I prayed for 

Je veux ton amour, I don't wanna be friends 

Got enough 

What the fuck 

I ain't on that friend shit I got enough 

Bella Notte 

Bella Notte 

For this is the night 

There's no end 

I wanted your love 

I don't wanna be friends 

Bella Notte 

Bella Notte 

Bella Notte 

You brought me to the top of the mountain just to push me off 

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Signed, Your Disciple

Last night I dreamed about you. 

In the present. 

Everything seemed the way it should be. 

They way I imagined it when you moved here. 

But my fallacy of you is not at all true.

You arrived like a thief in the night. Like Jesus with all the glory. 

And I am here standing like a disciple wanting to be in your image. 

We are magnets in my delusion. But there was a time where it was true. A moment in time. 

You are here now. And you came like a thief in the night. And I am lost.

Because in the dream you cared about me. And how I treated you. 

But my eyes are open. 

And I’m just standing here. Like a disciple. All insecure. 


Friday, April 1, 2022

She Asked Me (DRAFT 1)

Sometimes I truly wish I never met you 
These dreams are getting insane 
The thought of you is really clogging my brain 

Tried to cast you off 
For all the times you blew me off 
Why you stroll in my life With 
no intentions of being my wife

Does that scare you shawty? Speaking the future?
You keep dodging my calls 
Rather me than a loser 
They don’t know you like I do 
Things you told me, like I knew 

Our Timing off but what if it finally align?
Do you care for me as much as you say
Or are you constantly lying?

You asked me if I loved you 
Why tf you think I keep coming 
Waiting, for the time of day we both promised to save 

From that day you walked in 
I knew we’d be more than friends 
Now it’s like there’s not a sense of love 
Fuck, I thought you felt something 
Got me feeling like a bum cause you left me with nothing 
But these feelings to feel alone 
Worst kinda love is when it’s wrong 

I can’t blame you though I was stupid 
School was my biggest excuse 
The first Nigga to buy you flowers 
I’m just telling the truth 
You acting kinda shady, no destiny’s child 
Ain’t no stage to air this shit out cause you been Wild N’ Out 
Now I can spoil you, make you a flower bed 
I made you a crown of blue roses so you can wear on your head 

that time we took naps together 
Wanted to give you the world 
Holding you hot in my arms 
That day I made you my pearl

Feared them days you’d turn blue 
That you’d change this is true 
Went through that shit before 
With some whore, excuse my language some girl 

But those were my insecurities jumping 
Out the page like a marvel comic 
You had plans then I came stomping 
Pickup worse than an Uber coming 

Why tf I ain’t never even kissed you.
That thought be making me sick 
Cause now I’m across the world 
I be feeling like dropping this shit 

But we both know that’s not happening 
Grinding is what made me attract you 
Can’t move up out of my lane 
My red carpet date might be lame 
If it’s not a Pearl on my arm 
My multimedia charm 
That cutie hot with a mic 
Probably seeing a whole different type

And you know I'm true to this shit

Smacking niggas for you like Will Smith.  

Truth is ain’t no other nigga like me 
A walking check like I’m Nike 
Midas is out here to get it 
Damn how how much time I been spitting 
At you 

The time moving 
Will it ever be right? 
Cause in these dreams we live a whole different life 
It’s so short I’m tryna bill you my heart 
Before the world is over 
It’s already tore me apart 
I’m done with giving attention 
Better come and take advantage 
Don’t tell me “you’ll think about it” 
Like I’m not a nigga worth grabbing
Like I won’t treat you better than all these fools 
That won’t love you like I do 
All these women coming to me 
Plus I got a lotta shit to lose 
The one I want giving me them blues 
Leading me on with thoughts of loving me too 
Can’t get star struck like I got nothing to lose. 
You Kim and I’m cube. 

She asked me “if I loved her” 
I’m like wtf you think I keep calling for. 

Friday, August 20, 2021


The ingredients to RAWNESS:






Stripped Away

Pulled Back



Layered Back



This applies to living , eating and art. This applies to the soul. Digging to find whatever it is that WAS/IS the organic and full being. No lying. No layers. Straight everything and all of it laid out on a platter. You can see it and feel it. It is essential to finding out who you are. Baby's are RAW. Kids are RAW. Adults must dig. 

- Charles the second 

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Shoes to fill 2020

Hello peeps, I genuinely hope everyone is staying safe and healthy in this quarantine. This has been a wild year so far but I am hanging in there. I know it has been awhile since I posted on this thing, but I had recently thought to write down some goals of mine and I'd thought to do it here! So I get this question a lot and since my mind rambles, I thought to document this and keep it updated. People always ask me "what are some of your dream roles?" Here’s a current list of roles that are on my goal/dream list. It’s hard saying “dream” sometimes because dreams are often fleeting. But these are some characters that have constantly been on my heart and in my peripheral: 

1. Hamlet from Hamlet 

I’ve gotten a taste in grad school with the “To be or not to be speech” and scene. It was such a tease. After jumping into those thought's and emotions.. I knew I HAD to play Hamlet. Jumping into that speech is not a cake walk. I would love to explore Hamlets journey from beginning to end. I want to play him because I believe he is like me. I can relate to him and his soliloquy’s leave me in tears. This play also hold's one of my favorite Shakespeare quotes, "To thine ownself be true."

2. Boy Willie from The Piano Lesson 

In 2014 I got a chance to take part in a Wilson play and was lucky enough to play Lymon in The Piano Lesson. Playing Lymon Jackson taught me a lot about exploring what to do on the stage without having many lines. He in fact, has many lines but they mostly appear in the second act. I will say, doing this play with my best friend leading as Boy Willie showed me of how much I am also like Boy Willie in regards to making sure his goals are achieved to better his life no matter what. Boy Willie was the first role I believe I executed an audition for. God just said it wasn’t my time to play him then, I think the time is coming now.

3. Hedley II from King Hedley II 

This is another one of August Wilson’s plays in the Pittsburgh cycle. My relationship to this piece is that in my undergrad at Prairie View A&M University, I learned a monologue from this play my senior year. It’s one of my go-to pieces and it resonates so well with me because I know people in Hedley II’s situation. I’ve seen the play live in England at Theatre Royal Stratford East and this rendition only confirmed that I had a desire to live as Hedley, to deeply understand the emotions of a person or people that I already know.

4. Bottom from A Midsummer Night’s Dream

This is a rather new goal. This is my first and favorite Shakespeare work. Why? I’m in love with both magic and comedy! I have a very special relationship with this play. When I first auditioned for it in 2013 I was going for puck and was a very new actor. I really didn’t know how to take direction in a callback as much as I did after I made my mistake in this audition. I didn’t get puck but later in 2018 I played a character in ‘She Stoops to Conquer” named Tony Lumpkin (Who I would actually love to play again publicly). He was pretty much who puck was and I would say, restoration/Georgian theatre requires so much. Because of my love for Tony, I don’t care much as I did to play Puck because he was it pretty much. He created the problems in the play AND fixed them. I’ve recently gained interest in the bombastic BOTTOM. He is as ambitious as me and I would love to explore the layers that he possesses and make the viewers smile while doing it.

"Let me play the lion too. I will roar, that I will do any man's heart good to hear me. I will roar, that I will make the duke say, "Let him roar again. Let him roar again."

5. Cory from Fences 

In regards to Cory. I don’t think I ever had him in my peripheral until I did a scene as him with one of my good friends in 2017. We did it in honor of his dad and it was so heartwarming. After the scene, another actor approached me and told me “you should definitely go out for Cory.” That was a sign, and since then, I’ve had him on my list. He represents a new generation of thinking, of ambition, of dreams in a very fenced household.

6. Scar from The Lion King 

I’ve been in love with The Lion King since I was a child and very recently I deemed “Be Prepared” as one of my favorite songs in the movie. Scar is also my favorite Disney villain. I love playing villains.

7. Hercules from Disney’s Hercules 

This has been on my mind recently, but not because of the live action remake announcement, but because of The Public Theater in NYC. I didn’t get to see the production but I followed it heavily and was Inspired by seeing a Black Hercules. It really reminded me that once again, it does not matter the race of a Disney character unless it’s very specific. Since then, I’ve had an urge in wanting to play the mighty God and filling the shoes of someone who went “Zero to Hero.” I would love to play him on stage or even on film.

8. Spider-Man ‘Miles Morales’ 

I’ve been hearing about Miles since he was first created in 2011. I actually didn’t know who he was until a former comic loving coworker mentioned “you should look into miles morales, you resemble him.” After I looked him up, I was immediately blown away by his creation and his story. I was instantaneously connected to him and was in awe because Peter Parker’s Spider-Man had always been my favorite hero since I was a baby. Now there is an opportunity in swinging around NYC for me. I’ve even gone as far as writing a pilot. “I am Spider-Man.”

Honorable mention: Spurio from The Revengers Tragedy.

- CJ 

Saturday, July 27, 2019


It’s been a long time coming, and sorry for the wait but here is Episode 4! So much has happened since my last U.K. blog post where I expanded on my trip to Paris in my first year of Graduate school. I have now finished my second and completed my program! Crazy right? My second year was mighty. It was filled with a lot of ups and a few downs. C’est la vie. Lets jump right in. 

                        To start, the biggest thing that happened in the beginning of my second year was the loss of my grandfather, Alex Wilson. I really wasn’t expecting this to happen, but I had to fly home in the middle of my course to see him off. It was quite sad to see my mom experience that, but she was strong of course. She reminded me of where I get my strength from. I was very happy to see my family and to visit Louisiana. Sharing a hotel with my mom, sister, aunt, and grandma was so cool. We bonded like never before. That feeling of love is something I will always remember. 

When I returned back to England I hustled my ass off to put together my one-man show called “A Hero’s Journey” which was a research piece inspired by the mythologist Joseph Campbell. I thought I was very behind when I came back, but I gave it my all and the turnout was quite spectacular. I received so much excellent feedback from the audience and tutors and was advised to take it on the road which I am considering strongly. My second year was much more challenging mentally than the first. I had to remind myself countless times that “I was enough” because of the subtle depressive phase I was experiencing in the winter. The winter felt very long and cold and many times I wanted to lock myself somewhere away from everything. My head was very cloudy for a while and I felt like I was walking around blind to my surroundings. In the midst of these cloudy days I had a difficult time deciphering who were my friends. I lost trust in many people and had to fake my way through days and we all know how much I hate not being one hundred with everyone around me. It felt like a knife was shoved up my back and went straight through my heart. I became distant. I was left not trusting anyone I met. One of my best friends back home did not appreciate my hiatus but we hashed it out. We are good now. Don’t know what I’d do without her. 

In December, I ventured to Amsterdam 

It was a wonderful healing. What a magical place. What a liberating place. I was on this trip solo. I thought it was really cool that the main transportation in Amsterdam were bicycles. Everywhere you looked, everywhere you turned was a bike. I learned a few Dutch words, but I have forgotten most of them. I do remember Dank je wel which means “Thank you very much!” Amsterdam was gorgeous! 

I spent a lot of time on the canal learning about the history. I experienced the famous coffee shops and was sent to another galaxy when I tried a space cake. The people of Amsterdam were very smart with selling those good ass Nutella covered waffles near the coffee shops. I feel like they put Nutella on everything out there, as well as mayonnaise. I’m not complaining though.          

I went to the sex museum which completely blew my mind and exceeded my expectations. My favourite museum/landmark was the hiding place of Anne Frank. 

I learned so much about the Holocaust in Jr. High, but being in the hideout spot was just breath-taking. It was such a still but very powerful experience. 

            I knew my mood would be low after the museum, so I made sure my space cake was ready for consumption. I went directly to a Dutch Pancake restaurant which was near the Anne Frank hideout. DUTCH PANCAKES ARE AMAZING! I was so much in love and was tempted to order another serving of them. Imagine this beautiful image melting in your mouth:

Lastly, the red-light district is probably one of the wildest things I’ve ever seen. If you don’t know what the red-light district is then I suggest you use google because I want to keep this blog PG:13. 

When I returned for my second term of uni I was very excited because in the last five weeks I knew it was time for the first production of our year, Othello by William Shakespeare. The first five weeks were spent preparing for our last skilled assessments. Within these five weeks something incredible happened at my day job. I was working and ended up unknowingly serving Post Malones tour manager. I, along with two of my work friends was invited VIP into the concert. Yes, I met Post Malone and not only did I meet him, but I kicked his ass at beer pong. It was quite fun this night. I was never a huge Post Malone fan, but it was nice to see someone who was from the same place as I, make it as a star. He was a pretty cool guy. 

The first five weeks flew by; In the midst of this whole term I was slowly but surely preparing to play one of my dream roles, The Moor, Othello.

It was a rollercoaster ride for me. It was the most vulnerable I’ve ever been on stage and I, without a doubt, had to become an emotional athlete. As soon as I appeared on the stage I knew as I sat down to tie my combat boots, there was no backing out. I am so grateful for the opportunity to lead a show like that. My mom, both sisters, fraternity brothers and friends all came from America to see the show. The fact that I have people in my life that would fly a thousand miles to see me in my element truly warms my heart. 

When Othello closed I spent a few days with my friends and sister in London. There is nothing like traveling and spending time with people you love and trust. It was one of the highlights of my time here which led into my trip to Rome, Italy with my close friend and fraternity brother. 

Italy was one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. It’s so crazy that people live in such a beautiful place. When we first arrived and sat to eat at a restaurant we experienced a bit of racism. There was some lunatic looking at me and my brother and shaking his head with disgust while we were minding our business ordering food. He was doing this constantly and made sure we saw him. We didn’t care though; the wine was too good! The food was exquisite. I ate so much pasta I feel like I picked up weight after the trip. When we got to old Rome, the history and architect that surrounded us was mesmerising. Old Rome was pretty much made up of old, weathered stone. 

Although a lot of things were destroyed and in pieces, you could tell what had been there and how massive it was. There was still so much still there! The Colosseum is even more massive in person. I wanted to somehow sneak to the middle of it but there was no way that was going to happen. I also was very much blown away by the Pantheon and the other cathedrals we saw. On the last night our plans to see the Trevi Fountain was cut short because of my unexpected food poisoning. I was so upset but it was nothing I could do. The trip was amazing. 

The icing on the cake was flying to Birmingham the next morning and heading to the Assassination Vacation Drake concert later that night. There is nothing like seeing your favourite artist. Drizzy put on a show! Shout out to my brother for buying me a ticket. Our traveling in March ended with us going to London and eating at Duck & Waffle for his birthday. Duck & Waffle was on (I think) the 40thfloor in a London skyscraper. I highly recommend it. The view is gorgeous. The best part of Rome and the concert was being in such good company. 

When returning for my last term of Grad school, me and my cohort had two final productions ahead of us. The productions were Mary Stuart and Harper Regan. These were two shows that I quite enjoyed learning from. I was directed by the famous Lynn Farleigh in Mary Stuart. Harper Regan was like a trip back home because how much of an ensemble piece it was. It was directed by Katy Weir. 

I played a boy named Tobias Rich, who was on the spectrum of Autism. I'm so happy to have experienced this because until then I've been very ignorant to the knowledge of autism symptoms and what people who have it go through. It was a hell of a challenge but I did my research, watched a brilliant show called "Atypical" and made him my own. Playing Tobias taught me a lot. 
When Harper Regan closed it was time for graduation! My mom and sister came out again and we had a blast exploring London and spending quality time. I really enjoyed it. Although my sister was faster than me in Karting by a millisecond. I taught her everything she knows though uh ha ha! I graduated July 23rd with distinction. I worked my ass off for two years so I expected nothing less. Working hard is only part of the reason though. I feel like I fully committed myself one hundred percent to everything I had done. Challenging myself to rise to the tasks given to me. Nothing was ever perfect, but I grew tremendously in many ways. For actors out there looking for good training, I highly recommend The Royal Birmingham Conservatoire. The tutors are top notch. 

I have made many friends here and great memories that I will never forget. My undergrad was done at a historically black college university and coming here to a predominantly white country was a huge 360. Before I graduated from PVAMU one of my professors told me “You know how to do the black stuff, now go learn everything else.” My industry is still predominately white, so I knew exactly why he said that. It wasn’t that I had to, but to fly in this industry I got to know how to do it all. I’m still learning but I’m now more fluent on both sides. It was a challenge in which I conquered. 

Over these two years I really learned what it meant to protect my energy. You have to find your happiness and keep your goals close to your heart. People will try to discourage you, try to tear you down, might break your heart... but keep God first, remind yourself what you’re doing it for, keep your head up and guard your heart. 

“When people show you who they are, believe it the first time.” – Maya Angelou. 

I’ve never really been a patient person, but I learned a lot of patience here in the United Kingdom. Timing is also everything. If something doesn’t feel right then don’t do it until it does, if it ever does. Let nobody tell you how to control your time, not your family, not your friends. We can’t get it back. Don’t waste time on people that are not there for you. Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed. I’m always so amazed when people show their true colours. Especially when I thought they were my friends. Everything is a learning experience, even when we get hurt. I have no regrets. "I will wear my heart on my sleeve for daws to peck at."

I have found a fresh version of myself here. I will miss all of my friends and teachers. I will be moving to New York City very soon. I'm very anxious about it but I am so READY for this career and to shine bright. (I'm also accepting Grad donations!) Always remember not to compare your journey with anyone else’s because your journey is your own. It’s unique to you. You are enough and you can do anything your heart strive's for. GO OUT AND GET IT. As for me, center stage is where I belong. I couldn’t have gotten where I am now in growth without loved one’s support. I am in deep gratitude to you all. The journey was rigorous, but I wouldn’t have it any other way; 

No Way But This. 

Until next time!

(PS: I’m writing a fictional book. Stay tuned.)

 To stay up to date with CJ, please visit his website at